“I Hear Myself Singing” – A Memory Piece
written by Katharina Schuldner
I heard myself singing.
So gently.
Not powerful, not loud –
but real.
I didn’t know I could do that.
Because I was told I couldn’t.
And because at some point I stopped.
Even though I always loved it.
I was never fully present
when it got soft.
Softness was dangerous.
Gentleness was unprotected.
And me?
I was often gone too quickly.
But this time I stayed.
In the moment.
In myself.
And I heard myself.
Not perfect.
Not grand.
But gentle.
And that surprised me.
I liked it.
I was there,
and I was soft.
Maybe this is something new.
Maybe it’s something very old coming back.
Something long buried.
Something remembering itself again.
I have no proof.
Only this quiet sense
that my voice is more than sound.
That it’s a way back to me.
Back into the body.
Back into life.
And I am proud.
Not because everything was easy –
but because I stayed.
Because I held myself.
Because I reached out and asked for help,
instead of disappearing.
I was there.
And I sang.
And maybe this is the beginning
of something healing.